Ok, so the next boyfriend was a piece of shit as well. So deceptive. He is a "DJ"...well he calls himself a DJ. He doesnt even use turn-tables...just his ginormus mac. I can do that. Whatever. He was probably the most narcissistic person I have ever met. The name "narcissism" was coined by Freud after Narcissus who in Greek myth was a pathologically self-absorbed young man who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool.Well, DJ Ass Face fell loves the pool.
Let me back her up a bit. I had been single ever since the last dude...maybe six months with random un-climaxing hook ups in between. Total waste of my time. I was telling my friend that I was feeling lonely and he suggested that I meet his friend...this ever mysterious DJ. He said that he was weird and spontaenous like I am. My friend told me he was going to talk to him but that I should befriend him on Facebook. I did this.
The first thing that shouldve tipped me off was that he had about 100,000,000 pictures of himself. I looked through them and was immediately drawn to him. He was definitely my type of guy...looks and personality wise (pre getting to know him). He had tattoos (I LOVE THEM AND HAVE THEM), was tall, dark, handsome, funny, retarded, spontaneous.
We chatted through fb and we hit it off. He suggested that we go to an indoor rock climbing place for a date. WHAT? REALLY? An indoor rock climbing date? I have never been rock climbing in my life. I also was totally aware that I would be suspended in the air in a harness. ASS IN A HARNESS IN THE AIR ON A FIRST DATE.
I took the challenge...I was kind of interested in it. When I picked him up I was pleasantly surprised at how handsome he was and easily we got along. We laughed and joked on the drive there. We get out of the car and I walk into this very intimidating other world.
But you know what? I sucked it up. Put my fear aside. Slipped into the harness and climbed my ass off. I was a trooper and had so much fun. I felt like the date was going awesome. Probably one of the most random and spontaneous first dates I had ever been on. So much better than the "Wanna grab a drink" date.
Anyways, we go outside and walk to the car and I realized it was only 9pm and didn't want the date to be over. I asked him if he wanted to grab a drink. We went to this bar in my neighborhood and sat and drank and chatted for like 2 hours.
He didn't pull any sleazy moves on me but would say that I am pretty or throw a compliment here and there. the only semi creepy thang he did was he leaned into my ear to say something since it was so loud and then proceeded to tell me that my hair smelled good.
He walked me home like a gentleman...came in to meet my dog. Then I gave him a quick peck on the lips and he left. No sex. No making out.
I was on such a high. You don't even know. I really really liked him. It was instant. I went to work beaming the next day. I had heard through the grapevine that I had KILLED IT! He had a great time and wanted to see me again.
We hung out a bunch of times and just had so much fun. He seemed proud of me. He seemed as smitten with me as I was with him. We went out one night to a Burlesque show and had another great night. We got super silly, made out all over the joint and ended up at my place and FINALLY made the sex. It was a bit disappointing but still enjoyed most of it.
The next day I get a text from him at like 7am saying to check my facebook. I check it and he asks me to be in a relationship with him. I happily accepted. Our anniversary was 5.5.10 in Facebookland.
One other night he came over and started crying. He said my dog made him sad because he had the same kind. I didn't know how to handle it. I've never been put in that situation before. A red flag should've gone up immediately.
I had to have surgery so my mother came up to visit and take care of me. He wanted to meet her. He came over the night before surgery and made me and my mom dinner. We sat and ate and drank and talked. My mom went to bed and my dj boyfriend and I took a bottle of wine and found a park outside and drank. We cuddle, made out, laughed, drank at midnight in a park. It couldn't have been any more romantic. Actually it wouldve been great if I didn't have to wake up at at the ass crack of dawn to get my gall bladder taken out.
The next day I go into surgery and find that he had been calling my mom to see how I was and was going to come over that night to make dinner and to take care of me and my mom. He was super sweet. I was a bit scared though because usually you dont let your parents meet someone until its very serious and he was already getting close to her.
He stayed by my side the whole time.
My mom leaves a couple of days later. I am still on the mend. I ask him if he wants to come over...he said he had a friend coming over and that I should go to his place. I go...bandaged stomach and all. I took the subway. I thought, "Well he has been trekking over to my place the past 5 days in a row...I can go over there".
I get there and his friend is there. She is a girl. Apparently he has a lot of friends who are women and they all hate his choices in ladies...except for me. These girls really liked me. It felt really good.
Anyways we all hang out and she leaves. We go into bed. MIND YOU I AM 3 DAYS POST SURGERY. We cuddle and he is being very gentle. We start making out and then we start making the sex again. I left my little tank top on so he wouldnt see my incisions. We pass out.
I wake up the next morning high as a kite. I go home and get ready for my first day back at work. Still beaming from my seemingly perfect boyfriend.
I get to work and things are great. I get a text from him saying that last night was great and that he was happy. I go on facebook and he says something about having a bad day. I decide to order him milk and cookies from a local bakery to be shipped to his work. I dont hear from him.
I dont hear from him that night. Or the next. I get a text on day three saying, "I am sorry. I am not in a good place right now. I need more time."
I call him and he didn't pick up. Here I am on pain meds, post surgery, sending him milk and cookies and then being dumped via text. AWESOME.
Turns out he dumped me for a 21 year old girl with a HUGE underbite. Here is my interpretation of her:
I am not bad looking. I am tiny and petite. I do not have an underbite. I am also 31 years old and have a career. I am independant. This girl has nothing on me.
Yet, I am still being passed over. The first boyfriend mentioned passed me over for anonymous sex with trannies. The DJ passes me over for hachetface.
I don't get it.
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